Midgard News
Realm War Update
Midgard Life


Dwarf Claims to Have "Logged Out of Body" Experience

Mantle of Fabulosity Threatens Stability of Mob Ecosystem

Midgard Dungeons Under Fire for OSHA Violations

Muspelheim in Danger of Freezing Over, Scientist Warns

Mysterious Colorless Creatures Offer Clues to Our Origins

Thor Warns of Hammer Shortage, Urges Thanes to Use Discretion

Trouble in Asgard? The thunder god, in a rare portrait*

VALHALLA - Thor, God of thunder and deity of choice for Midgard's Thanes, has issued a warning that his famed mystical hammers may become scarce in coming weeks.

Thor blamed the shortage to a lack of supply of some magical components necessary to producing the hammers, which rain down upon Midgard's enemies all along the frontier. Until Thor can identify the problems and smite those responsible, he cautioned Thanes to use his hammers responsibly.

"I don't mean to curb my followers' enthusiasm toward crushing our enemies with my huge magical hammers and accompanying lightning," Thor said. "I can't get enough of that, really. But until this hammer crisis is solved, we all need to pull together and make sure we get the most use out of the magical hammers I can provide."

Asked for some guidelines as to which uses would be most appropriate, Thor suggested that Thanes focus mostly on smiting invaders from Hibernia and Albion, and then on large groups of monsters that would be difficult to fight otherwise.

"You know, use your own discretion," the god said. "Killing those foul invaders from the other realms is always my first priority. Beyond that, if you're attacked by a bunch of tomtes intent on rending you limb from limb, sure, go wild."

He added that Thanes should always use his hammers with caution when their groups are mesmerizing groups of enemies.

"I feel like I shouldn't have to say it anymore," Thor said. "But please, if your Healer is mezzing those adds, don't start throwing my hammers around indescriminately and breaking mez. It makes me look like such a fool, and then I have to hear all about it from Eir at those god-awful Pantheon mixers, and it's more than I can bear. Please, do it for me."

(* Apologies to Marvel Comics, it was just too good. - The Editors)

© 2002 Midgard Times Feedback Disclaimer Credits