RAUMARIK - The Raumarik Community Playground, once a winter wonderland for children from as far away as Galplen, has been overrun by vicious wyverns, forcing authorities to declare it unsafe.
The playground, located just outside the entrance to Raumarik, started attracting savage wyverns sometime last month, scaring children and damaging the swings. The playground has become increasingly infested with wyverns over the past few weeks. Unable to scare away the wyverns, authorities finally decided to close down the playground until they can find a way to remove the dangerous beasts.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaa!" said Timmy, one child who regularly played on the playground until it was close earlier this week. "Wanna play on see-saw! Make stupid monsters go way! Waaaaaaaa!"
"It really is a tragedy," said Raumarik Police Chief Urgo Drumlen. "What happened to the day when our kids could play on playgrounds without fear of being eaten or mauled? Well, OK, there never was such a day, but still, this is really a shame."
Recent attempts to remove the wyverns, including drawing them out with raw meat and making loud noises, resulted in several unfortunate deaths, leading authorities to rethink their strategy.
Until the playground can be reopened, authorities recommended that children utilize an alternative playground further up the road.
"Unfortunately, that site is heavily guarded by those lawless blodfelags," said Chief Drumlen. "So it's not ideal. But if you play nice and maybe just stay over in one corner, maybe they won't notice you. Look, kids, life is hard, and death is omnipresent, get used to it."