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Mularn Dwarves March to Protest Dwarf Tossing

MULARN - A throng of angry dwarves marched through the Vale of Mularn today to protest dwarf tossing, the growing underground sport they say threatens the dignity of dwarves everywhere.

Holding colorful banners high above their heads and chanting rhythmic slogans such as "One two three four, keep those little feet on the floor," some 400 dwarves gathered to call attention to the unsavory trend. Though dwarf tossing has been banned in several cities, it is still prevalent in Midgard, especially in troll-heavy regions, according to activist group No One Throws Our Sacred Sons, or NOTOSS.

"Aye, it's an awful sight, seeing one of your best friends picked up by a big ugly troll and tossed across a field," said Hururd Dornflog, one dwarf present at the protest. "We used to smash the bastards in the kneecaps, but then they all started wearing kneepads. It's not easy being a dwarf sometimes."

NOTOSS claims that competitive dwarf tossing is prevalent in the Galplen area, and that spinoff sports such as dwarf bowling and dwarf catapulting are on the rise. Galplen authorities refused to comment on the issue, except to say that "da littul dorfs blow ishew all out of purporshun. It all in gud fun."

The protest march was briefly interrupted when the group accidentally walked right through a meeting of the Troll Sports Club, the members of which seized several of the dwarves and began playing catch with them. After entreaties to release the dwarves went unheeded, the peaceful march suddenly turned violent. After painting the trolls with offensive slogans, the enraged dwarves buried the trolls neck-deep in the soil, where hill cats nibbled on their heads for hours before help arrived.

"We dunno whut all fuss wuz about," said one of the astonished trolls later. "We just haveen sum fun!"

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