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Muspelheim in Danger of Freezing Over, Scientist Warns

A cold day in Muspelheim? What the hellish land could soon look like, according to experts

MUSPELHEIM - This hellish land of fire and brimstone, a fixture for Midgard's adventurers, may soon drop dramatically in temperature, according to a local scientist. And the cause may be an offhand comment uttered by a local dwarf, whose boast may have angered the gods.

The brouhaha began when a local dwarf, who asked to remain anonymous to protect him from divine or demonic wrath, claimed loudly that "that big red oaf Gokstorm isn't so tough! I could beat him with nothing but me left foot, I could! He'll kill me when Muspelheim freezes over!"

Only seconds later, walking his regular patrol of the fiery realm, the fire demon accidentally stepped on the dwarf, crushing him. Apparently the gods were watching, and decided to make an example of the hapless dwarf.

Temperatures in Muspelheim started dropping late last night, as chilly winds began blowing through the area. An unusual cold front is heading toward Muspelheim, Midgard meteorologists say, which may bring rain and even snow.

"It was Loki's idea, naturally, though Hel egged him on," said chief deity Odin in an interview this morning. "We get so tired up here in Valhalla of all the hubris we've been hearing out of the people of our realm. So occasionally we like to play with them, just to show them we're still in charge. Sometimes I think Loki goes too far, like the time he turned all the trolls into pigs, but I think this will be a hoot."

The demonic denizens of Muspelheim are already registering their displeasure with the chill in the air. Many are donning coats and cloaks for the first time ever, and the demons that tend the searing pools of molten death are finding it increasingly difficult to keep their fires burning.

Perhaps the only regular in the hellish land who welcomes the change is the imp Spligflin, whose sporting goods store is the only outlet in the area for cold-weather clothing.

"All de other demons told me I wuz a fool to opeen my ssstore!" said Spligflin. "NOW dey not laughing, dey buying!"

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