FORT VELDON - Playing a high-stakes card game for the first time late last night, Veldon troll Korblook lost himself in the card game after he accidentally added himself to the pot when raising a bet.
"Me no unnerstan," said Korblook, scratching his head. "Thought me had winnun hand! Had two twigs, old boot, doorknob, dead fish and peanut butter. Me tink dey not know da roolz very well."
According to witnesses, the other players who were in the game have a history of inviting particularly dim-witted trolls into their card games, and Korblook "was without a doubt one of the dumbest trolls I've ever seen," said one onlooker. "He was trying to catch a butterfly with a hammer when these three card sharks told him he could win a lot of money if he joined their game."
First the group told Korblook that, as the biggest player, he was anointed Prince of the Monkeys, which meant he had the honor of adding twice as much money to the pot as every other player. Then they told him that, under Fort Veldon rules, he was allowed to trade his cards for items from the other players' packs.
"Apparently Korblook's strategy was to try to fool the other players by replacing his cards with worthless junk," said one witness. "Even for a troll, he seems to be remarkably stupid. He must have been dropped on his head quite extensively as a child."
Onlookers report that the hapless troll was so confident of his success that, when he ran out of money, he tried to add his armor and clothing to the pot. However, rather than removing the items, he instead climbed on top of the pot while still wearing them, effectively betting himself instead. Predictably, the other players beat him soundly, leaving winning player Ragnil Yordgjn with a pile of money and one slightly used troll.
Asked what he planned to do with Korblook, Yordgjn said, "He might make a good doorstop. Or I may have him round up invisible stones to build me an invisible wall. That would keep him occupied for a few years. But I'll probably just release him into the wild. I don't want to be held responsible when he demolishes another outpost because he dreamt it was made of cookies."