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ALSO IN WAR REPORTS

Hibernian Caster Killed With Axe

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Hibernian Caster Killed With Axe

EMAIN MACHA - Hibernian Twixten Naturecall, one of the enemy realm's high-level Eldritches, was killed early this morning by an axe, according to several eyewitness reports from the frontier.

If true, the watershed event would confirm what Midgardian theorists have believed for years: that Hibernian mages can, in fact, be killed in hand-to-hand combat.

"It was one of the strangest things my eyes had ever seen," said Plagret Trillen, a stocky dwarf who frequently battles the enemy in Emain Macha. "Usually our guys are lucky to get a swing in before being stunned, mesmerized and blasted into dust. That guy Twixten is especially notorious for filling graves with our warriors. Somehow, some strange chain of events must have occurred to allow this to happen. Clearly the gods are watching."

Sornbel, the axe-wielding troll credited with landing the final blow, said he is proud of his accomplishment, but also confused as to what exactly happened.

"Me sweeng axe like always," said Sornbel. "Usually den dey make da birdies fly in front of my eyes, then dey blow me up like dis... BOOOM!" Sornbel then waved his arms frenetically before lying down the ground, simulating his destruction by a Hibernian caster. "And den I'm ded, and wait for a nice heelur to come along."

Several theories have been circulating to explain the freak occurrence. Some believe that the caster must have had some really catchy bard song in his head that made him forget the words to his stun spell; others claim that just then a goblin zeppelin flew overhead, distracting Twixten just long enough for the troll to land the fatal blow. Still others claim to have seen Twixten coughing up blood earlier in the day, suggesting he was very ill and bound to die soon anyway.

The mystery may never be solved, but already the tale is winding its way among the realm's skalds, who sing of the heroic feat whenever they charge into battle. Though the song is usually cut short by the sound of magical explosions, followed by silence, the legend is likely to live on in Midgard for generations.



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