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Mantle of Fabulosity Threatens Stability of Mob Ecosystem

VANERN SWAMP - Sparhath, a powerful Norseman Warrior, recently discovered a magic item so powerful it may upset the balance of life in Midgard and disrupt the delicate ecosystem of the realm's creatures.

The Mantle of Fabulosity, as the item is known, is a delicate red cloak that confers upon the wearer incredible charisma and personal magnetism. Some estimate the charisma boost as several thousand percent of normal, though no clear way of measuring charisma has ever been devised.

Midgard's Department of Loot acknowledged the existence of the unusual item, which it believes was accidentally created "last month when the magic attribute configurator was on the fritz," according to the management. The item was released along with hundreds of other items to the swamp's creatures sometime last week, and was finally discovered when Sparhath killed a hagbui that carried it.

Unfortunately, the effects of wearing the item are more than the warrior bargained for. Upon donning the mantle, Sparhath instantly became the beloved uber-deity and central preoccupation of all the creatures of Midgard. His irresistable charisma issued forth across the land like a beacon, summoning every living creature to come and bask in his glory. Within hours, the entire monster population had gathered in Vanern Swamp to pay homage and catch a glimpse of the supremely fabulous Norseman.

Sparhath found himself unable to leave the swamp, but soon he had no need to, as his followers quickly built a palace for him, and surrounded him with every variety of food and drink.

"When all the women started throwing themselves at me, I started thinking maybe this wouldn't be so bad," said Sparhath in a rare moment alone. "But I decided it was all just too creepy. Have you seen what these guys are giving me? I already have hundreds of statues of myself, thousands of sonnets and poems written to sing my praises... the jotuns have named me their Supreme Ruler for All Eternity, and I'm a pretty short guy!"

Numerous incidents of violence have broken out in the newly-renamed Sparhath's Glorious Realm, as creatures jockeyed for position in line to kiss the warrior's hand. Reportedly even Odin himself dropped by to invite Sparhath to his exclusive East Valhalla retreat for a weekend of exclusive parties and golf. At that point, Sparhath said, he decided he couldn't take it anymore.

After managing to escape the sight of the assembled horde, Sparhath returned the mantle to the Office of Loot Oversight for destruction. Inside reports suggest that the OLO often recycles loot items, however, and the mantle may still be circulating among Midgard's creatures. Authorities said that anyone caught with the cloak will be immediately apprehended, unless they put it on, in which case they will pledge to serve the wearer and smite their enemies for all eternity.

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